Just My Honest Thoughts...

Sometimes I feel like a failure. Sometimes I feel completely disappointed in myself. Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve God’s unconditional love and constant pursuit. Sometimes I wonder if I’m too caught up in this world, and all the fun things I could do, and places I could go that I begin to forget the depth of who I am as a child of God. My focus should be to know God on an intimate level, and make Him known to others.

Ever since I was around twelve or thirteen, I had a mental goal to have such a deep maturity, spiritually, by the time I graduated high school. I wanted to find exactly where God wanted me and be walking in it before graduating high school. I wanted my relationship to have had so much growth that I hear His voice clearly without any doubts. Also, I wanted to be confident in who He created me to be, so much so that speaking in front of people, or sharing deep personal things, would always be rather easy.

I wanted to be one of those young people that accomplished something big while I was still a teenager. By the time I graduated high school, I wanted to be that young person that knew exactly where I was going, and that was such a powerhouse for God, and experienced His presence mightily every day.

I am now twenty years old, and my goals haven’t happened. I feel like I should be further along, and maybe I should. Maybe I missed God on several occasions because I wasn’t focused on Him. I’m not really sure, but one thing I do know is this: I truly want to be in the center of God’s will for my life. I want to be a vessel that He can use to further His kingdom. I want to live for Him like I never have before.

I’m reminded of those who went before me. Those individuals who sold out to God, and who made Him first indeed - Billy Graham, Nate Saint, Amy Carmichael, Paul, Moses, and countless others. I aspire to be on fire for God as those who went before me were. I want to stand firm in the midst of adversity, persecution, and trials.

I challenge myself, and you, to seek after God like never before. Getting to that point that we physically feel like we cannot live without Him, which is true. We need Him everyday, and spending time in His Word, in His presence, and in prayer is essential. I personally have been majorly lacking in that, but there’s no time for me to be lazy. I must do what I know to do.

God wants to use me like He’s never used me before, and He wants to use you too. God also wants us to know Him,and to truly know who we are in Christ. The power we have in Him, and the wealth that we really do possess and can walk in now.

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I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. Evaluating my life, what God has been speaking, and what I know I need right now the most. I just wanted to share these thoughts to get them out, and also to encourage or challenge somebody out there in some way.

I Pray You Have A Blessed Week. Be Encouraged.


*I don't own this image. Found on google*